What are the beliefs of what drives your money decision?
As I was working on reclaiming my power in relationship with money, things in this matter started shifting very quickly. Summer 2021, I took a 7 day program with Daily OM, called Overcoming Money Shame, simply out of curiosity. Wanting to understand the emotional bondage I had with money, and see how my past financial decisions and results do not indicate what is possible to create starting today. I defiantly recommend for anyone to take the course, as it made huge impact on me.
Self-blaming consistently oh... I could of done it differently, I wish I listened to my mom 12 years ago when I first moved out on my own and bought myself a nice condo, i wish saving more, spent less, traveled less... blah blah blah, not realizing this nagging to myself kept pushing me backwards 100 steps as I was playing the victim role.
The time period of my life in the mid 20's with spending more than I was making, I had to eventually face the fact and take responsibility 100%. When I decided to have deeper understanding of what really money is, and how to make conscious spending decisions, the emotional relationship to money had a profound influence on my money results. Claiming, I am living in complete abundance and financial freedom, just reframing the mind to think in more positive way, things shifted. Not only that, I mainly had to put in the work, by eliminating emotional spending on unnecessary things, monthly finance check in and focus only on what is really needed, without censoring or worrying.
I am on this journey to become financially independent, to make big investment financial decisions, to create the vision of life's coming attractions, financial opportunities, giving those in need, travel around the world and be in a place of financial freedom, I know it's a on going process; as I have been allowing myself to be supported, loved, given to, guided, valued - things just became lighter in this matter. Most importantly, embodying the journey to wholeness and moved beyond the walls of past conditioning and staying resilient.
As I was completely focused to inner-stand emotional intelligence behind money decisions, I noticed some triggers, shadows, like lack of self-worth. When a trigger showed up , I took that as an opportunity to reflect and obtain the wisdom behind the trigger. Asking questions am I emotionally spending it, do I really need it?; having the real "yes " or " no" answer. Also noticed when wanted finer things, I asked, where can I invest this amount so my money can grow and create the future of incoming flow into my account? What value does it bring me if I purchase this today? I think it's important to ask questions, and let the body do the talking, not just the brain.
To wrap this journaling today, what was mainly driving my past unhealthy financial decisions and spending beyond my means, was to fulfill emotional void within as being seen or valued from the outside. For living in fear, every time I would save, it was gone for some kind of emergency and I would start from zero again. This influence also came from my upbringing with mother who used to say, money comes hard and have to work harder for money. Someone who has savings and worries about some kind of financial issue that hasn't even happened. Once I understood this outlook it made total sense. No wonder "money is 90% emotion and 10% math". This realization made me stand in my power, have a grounding conversation with my mom and let her see the view from a different angle.
The importance behind journaling, is recognizing the patters that were holding me back and my responsibility was to break the old thought process, in order to move forward with clarity and vision of prosperity. Also, remembering when consciously doing this inner work for myself, I was also helping my family, to re-framing their thought process of how money works and have self-worth. It's energetic and it provides freedom for others, not just myself.
So let go of that worry and start looking at new paths to discover the unique ways of having healthy money relationships. What can you do today to improve? One thing; journal and reflect where it needs attention and in the mean time, don't lose your character if you become super wealthy :-).
Much love my dear readers. Sun Day is rainy in the dessert of Arizona.
Gasija
Journal 022